Of Burdens And Hope

Dear family, 

"I'm pregnant"

     This was a first for me since being on the mission. We've been teaching one of our less-actives and her investigator boyfriend for about a little over a month now. They've been to church two, three times, and Sister Pamesa and I thought that they were really going for the home run because of how awesome they've been responding to the gospel. 
     
     But when we visited sister on Friday afternoon and we started the lesson asking about why she hadn't been to church in so long, the topic somehow got onto repentance, onto trying our best, and then somehow Bishop came into the picture when she asked who she could talk to if she had something big to confess, and THEN we sat there wondering why she was so eager to talk to Bishop, and she was trying to make us guess the reason but I didn't want to guess - their business is their business and we aren't supposed to get involved in "counseling" - but then eventually Sister Pamesa asked, "Are you pregnant?"...and she gave a weak smile and nodded. (Whoo! Long sentence.) 

     Mixed emotions immediately overcame me. I sat there thinking, "Okay - she's 23 years old. She's single. Living away from her family in the province. She loves this boy, even though they've only been dating 3 months. Now she's pregnant, and HAS been, for about a month now...they are so young, they have no money...she is pregnant but doesn't seem bothered about the fact that it means certain things for her as a member of the church..." It bothered me SO much. So, so much. She was really happy that she was expecting, and we were too, but it felt like Sister Pamesa and I were the ones taking on the burden of her broken covenant with God. It made me so confused as to why she wasn't feeling that "godly sorrow" that we were feeling and are still feeling. I know that God sent me here to this mission to meet her...

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Love dilemma 

     The following day, Saturday, another one of our recent converts confessed to us that she was having trouble deciding if she wanted to marry or not, and that she was still in love with her ex, who, by the way, is a non-member and who didn't treat her well in her past relationship. 

     And so there I was, again, thinking, "Okay. She's 24 years old. This now-boyfriend is a member and is good. He's a good man. Her ex isn't. If she goes back, there is so much room for mistake...what now?" She told us over and over again how she has been feeling really weighed down by not knowing what to do. We sat there, again, not wanting to counsel her because it wasn't our place to do so. I guess there is so much heartache in love?

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On the hunt

     And then that same day we met with another recent convert who has been jobless for a long time. Bless his good, good heart. He is a GOOD man. A good man should never go without a job while being in a foreign country among foreign people. We bore testimony to him that God only gives us the trials that He knows that we can handle. We shared with him the story of Alma and his people and how their burdens were eased, although they weren't taken away. This recent convert had fasted for three days straight for a miracle. The miracle is still on the lookout for. I could see and tell and feel from his voice, from his eyes, from his punctured faith, that he was indeed struggling. It's so hard to watch and see good people go through hard things in life. It's unfair, looking from the outside in. But...everyone grows through their hard times, right? 

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Can someone say, "Palawan"?

     Guess who is out of water again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     I now know how people feel who live in rural areas that have to walk miles to a well, draw water from the well, carry the water all the way back to their houses, and repeat the cycle everyday. Sister Pamesa and I are going to build strong muscles from all the bucket-lifting we have been doing for the past three days, and might still do for who-knows-how-long-more. Won't lie. Been trying not to cry. I've never had to live without water. The last time this happened was in April, around my sixth month mark. This time, approaching October 10, the water is out again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

     I'm taking this with a LOT of humor because I just think it is SO funny how Heavenly Father decides to surprise me with trials very specific to my own point of endurance! Ohhhhh Heavenly Father. Always so wise. So, So wise. Well, if anything...I did the no-water thing on Palawan for a month! It's only been three days so far. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Jerry

     Jerry is doing great with abstaining from smoking and drinking! We trust him and we take his word for it. He bought himself one of those Vicks inhalers, the kind you use for your nose when it's stuffy and you inhale that menthol and it makes your runny nose go away/helps with headaches...well, funny thing though is that he inhales it...through his mouth. Sister Pamesa and I burst out LAUGHING when he demonstrated to us when he does! He inhales it through his mouth because it's a substitute for smoking and it ISN'T smoke and so...I don't even know what his thought process was! But Jerry! He cracks me UP. We told him that PROOOBBBABBLLYYY wasn't the best thing to do since he's just COPYING the smoking action, PLUS it probably isn't that good for you to do that???? Hahahaha. Jerry. October 17. He's really pushing hard to reach that date!!!

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Carol

     Quick update on her- she is doing GREAT! How do people change?!?!??!?!??! The Atonement is real. So in awe. Her conversion is so sacred to Sister Pamesa and I. Prayers please!

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Ronel

     Also, Ronel is someone else we've been teaching that is SUPER awesome and SUPER intelligent and ALSO has a date set for October 17. I'll have to tell you guys about his conversion story/process some other time!

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A word for Daddy

     Dad I think you would wet your pants silly if you could see Sister Pamesa and I walking down some of the streets we walk on sometimes. To think it took me 19 years to emerge from my father's shelter and see the world for what it really is! Thank you for protecting me for so long. The world is sometimes cruel and there is alot of pain in the world, but it is a beautiful, beautiful responsibility to carry what little light we have, to the world. 



I love you all! So glad that you guys get a one week break for Mid-Autumn festival. I miss all those Chinese celebrations. I miss MOONCAKES!!!



With love,
Sister Teo

Wednesday lessons... & some

Dear family,

LESSONS I LEARNT ON A WEDNESDAY:

They sort by gender - Manila MRTs

     I didn't realize this before but one time this past week Sister Pamesa and I had to take the MRT to get to one of our expat investigators and we filed into the train and I saw that they segregate the train carriages into female and male sections! The females are all gathered in one carriage and the men in another. Pretty good way to stop/decreases public harassment. Hmmm. One point for the Manila Public Transportation System :)

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Patience, waiting and good attitudes

     So this relates to the paragraph above: we were going to see Diane and her husband (Diane's the investigator) and we invited Oliver to come along (Diane's husband had invited him, too.) Oliver is our Rwandan (??) friend from Africa that we had dinner with two Saturdays ago! 

     Anyways, Oliver came along, but Diane was at the doctor's for a medical check-up (American visa requirements......Ether, so much hassle!). We waited. And waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

     And....waited. Bless Diane's heart - it wasn't her fault at all because there was traffic in the subway stations (and it wasn't even rush hour!) and I guess the doctors just took a little while longer than expected. And then there was Oliver, too, who was so patient. Second time now that we've pulled him out for an appointment but ended up NOT teaching him a lesson at all. We had to leave, Sister Pamesa and I, because we had OTHER appointments to go to and it was getting late. But kudos to Oliver! Who waited and waited and waited and I feel like Satan really doesn't want us to teach him our lessons because something always comes up! We'll keep trying!

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Old habits die hard

     Jerry is still working towards October 17. Thank you Daddy for your email to me this week; there is alot to consider about Jerry's conversion process and we are working really hard at trying to discern what we can do to help him best. Either way, again, bless Jerry's heart. He is a good man and we know that he is trying so hard, but if you've seen his pictures, you'll know that he's a hip guy as well...and by hip I mean that he loves his earring! That earring on his left ear! It keeps magically finding its way back to his ear...Oh Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. He is so comical! We're still trying to find a way to help him quit "The Ways of The Earring" before his baptism!

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When you fall down, you get up

     Best part of that Wednesday. Oh, yes, all of these things (paragraphs above) happened on the same day. On Wednesday. Okay, so we get home after a long day. You know, alot of waiting, some disappointments, but more or less still trying to be cool and calm and happy about it all. And I guess sometimes God just wants to see where you are at with trusting Him and remaining positive. Because when we got home that night, I started my normal routine of getting ready for bed, and when I was in the bathroom...I fell. 

Really bad. 

On my bum/back. 

And it hurt. 

     And for about a good two minutes I was just on that slippery, wet bathroom floor, unable to say anything because the pain was paralyzing (I even went to bed that night FEARFUL that I would wake up the next morning paralyzed! Haha for my imagination!). The other three sisters in the apartment were saying my name from the outside because they had heard me fall but I wasn't replying because it hurt so much and then they broke into the bathroom (just kidding, door wasn't locked) and found me on the floor and I was trying to be a big girl and not cry, and I didn't cry! But that was like the cherry on top of the icing, the final test of the evening. And I decided that I was not going to let that deter me.

     My prayer that night was pretty intense. I told Heavenly Father that I wasn't sure what all that happened that day was about. I told Him I didn't understand why it felt like He was pushing me to my limit, but I told Him too that I wasn't going to let anything bring me down. Fall seven times, rise up eight. Right? It's a good thing that I am learning on this mission, the value of perseverance and patience and of not giving up. WOW! This mission. Where would I be without this mission?

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& SOME:

Carl

     Carl is an investigator from the 4th ward. He is from the UK but just here for a month. He goes home in time for his October 30th baptism there in England, and Sister Pamesa and I taught him this week over lunch. Carl was another testament to me that God furthers this work. He is in charge of the lives of these people. I don't believe that we meet people for no reason. I believe that Carl was sent here to Manila, at this time, to be another "drop of oil in the lamp" for me. To strengthen my belief that this work is moving forward ALL around the world! 

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Floods, rats and hives

     Self-explanatory. It flooded again this week, I'll attach pictures and a video. And then the rats came out from all their hiding places because the drains were flooded and people (ladies) were screaming when they saw them...it was very hilarious. And also I think that Manila rain is too polluted because I got home that night (Sunday night, actually) and had hives again (but not as bad) on my shoulders/neck area. I think I am allergic to pollution. The end.

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     I really needed to go to the temple earlier and I am so glad for that session we had. There is something about being in the House of the Lord that cannot be experienced anywhere else in the world. It was so good to go today, too, because last year this time I had gone to the temple for the first time. Daddy, Mommy, and I. How was that one year ago?

There is so much to be grateful for. So much. 

Ready to see these remaining six months fly by?


With love,
Sister Teo

Flood-flowing, smooth flowing

Dear family,

And God caused the rains to come upon Manila

     Okay so - I've always seen on the news back home (whenever Mommy watched the Filipino channels) videos of places flooding here on the mainland. I didn't think it'd be possible...until this week. Our area FLOODS and I'm not even kidding. The pictures don't even do justice to what it was like. At one point Sister Pamesa and I had to cross the road to get to the other side and we got stuck in the middle of the road and we were freaking out (okay, I think it was just me) because the water was so dirty and I'm SURE that there was rat poop in that and all sorts of other gross things from city sewage...long story short, we got soaked by the rain, and I have officially experienced when the flood gates open here in Manila. Story for the keeps! 

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Carol

     I'm not quite sure how many times I've written home about Carol, let alone if I even have, but if I haven't it is because Carol's conversion experience is so sacred and so beautiful to watch that I don't know what to say about it. 

     Carol is 28, Filipina, but was in New York for ten years for school, so she's basically American. She is dating one of the members in the 4th ward here and that was how she got introduced to the church. If I could apply the words "change of heart" to any of our current investigators, it might have to be for Carol. She has come a long ways and I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is to be a missionary and to watch these people change their lives. 

We're not even doing any of the changing. 

God is. 

And it is beautiful to sit and watch His hand in their lives. Carol has a baptismal date for October 17, right before Sister Pamesa goes home. Let's help her get there! 

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Jerry

     Haven't talked about Jerry in a long time! His mother was just here in Manila (visiting from China) last week and so we weren't able to meet with him because he was spending time with her...BUT this man is hilarious! 

     He took a sip of Chinese tea this past week, but not the kind of iced tea in a bottle that you get at 7/11. It was tea in one of those tiny little tea cups, you know, traditional Chinese style, and the poor guy drank it and only realized later that night when he got home...that small teacups of tea...is still tea! He honestly forgot at that time that he shouldn't have drank that. Ohhhhhh Jerry. He has a new date for October 17, too. Will keep you guys updated!

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African Time

     Before coming here I knew that there was such a thing as "Filipina time," where everyone shows up about...an hour AFTER the agreed upon time? Yes. Okay. So I thought that Filipina time was as good as it got. Ha-ha-ha. Try African time! I say this with all love in my heart, though, so don't get me wrong! This last week we tried to pick up two new African investigators from Rwanda (Oliver and Justin) and had set a dinner appointment at a member's house for 6:30 pm. 

They got there at 8:30 pm. 

     And the other African brother that had referred them to us (he has glasses in the picture) (he's a member) (his name is Samuel and he was baptized last December) even laughed about it and told us that African time is worse than Filipino time! That was something new I learnt this week! In the end all that Sister Pamesa and I could do was eat our dinner and then leave because we had to get home before curfew. Oh wellllll. We are going for round two this week because we set two more new appointments this week with them. Lets see how it goes :) I am so glad that I get to teach people from ALL AROUND THE WORLD!

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The First Chapel

     The chapel where we currently meet at each Sunday - the Buendia chapel - was the first ever chapel to be built here in Manila. And there is something special about that chapel, I'm telling you. People flock to this building like I've NEVER seen in my entire life. Investigators just show up on their own (not kidding), our teaching pool right now is entirely made up of member referrals... I know that God blessed that building and that somehow, a special kind of spirit is leading people to it. And I attend six hours of church in it every SUNDAY! 

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     The -BER months are here! And we are already almost halfway through September! I have no idea where the time goes. Some other miscellaneous things: 

1) I am part of our mission's choir group that's going to sing on TV this Christmas season and Brother Tai (yes Mom, Eruption) said that he could try and put us on SHOWTIME?!??!?!?!? Not sure yet but that would be BIG if he did. 

2) Yesterday at church (4th ward, expatriates), we had three celebrities in attendance. All three of them were members, too. Brother Tai, Sister Lawyer (Melanie Marquez's name), and then Jairus Aquino, whom I have never heard about but is apparently a 15-year-old celebrity. I think that the teenagers from the 3rd ward (Filipino ward) were a little too star struck!

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I love you all! I think I've been here long enough that sometimes members/investigators/strangers think that I am Filipina but has just lived abroad for too long because they can pick up that I don't sound like a native. I'd take that any day over all the "Are you Korean?"s that I get!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


With love,
Sister Teo

Heavenly Father Is So Good

Dear family,

     Whoooo! It is a STRUGGLE writing this email right now because I am super down with some kind of sickness (on/off fever + flu + LBMs + on/off throwing up + crazy body aches) and all I want is some of Mommy's porridge and Daddy walking into my room to see if I'm doing fine...sickness on this mission is very different from being sick at home!

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The Sabbath

     This past week @ MLC (Missionary Leadership Conference) a huuuuge emphasis was placed on keeping the Sabbath Day holy and President Ostler even made us go through the entire training on the Sabbath that the First Presidency had put out for all the leaders in the church. It was very interesting and I learnt so much more about Sabbath Day observance. 

     In that meeting I made personal commitments to myself to improve my behavior on Sundays after the mission, because we all know that I was not perfect with it before....well! Now that I've openly told you guys my goal, you can hold me accountable when April 2016 comes around! It also struck me that sleeping for five hours after church is NOT keeping the Sabbath holy! Oooooops.....(laughed out loud with Sister Lockwood on this.)

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Exchanges: Sister Vaka

     I was able to go on exchanges with Sister Vaka this week and I have to say how MUCH God was in that exchange. 

     Sister Vaka and I were together in Santa Monica and so we are really good friends. I love her. I remember at the end of my last exchange with the other sisters President Ostler telling me that I shouldn't worry too much about ME, and how I need to make the exchange super good or whether the sister will like ME for this/that. He told me that the purpose of going on exchanges with other sisters, being an STL, is to let Christ...work through you. 

To become as transparent as possible. 

     And I think that it happened this time around with Sister Vaka. I think that I needed that exchange with her as much as she needed it with me. I was spiritually uplifted by her and I know that the things we shared with each other were all inspired by Heavenly Father. It is so special to see how she and I have grown over the course of this mission!

     Also, side note - we worked in HER area (Bonifacio!!!!!!!) the first day, which means that I got to see...yes, you're right! I got to see Carol and Sarah and the recent converts of that area and nothing beats seeing familiar faces. It is so wonderful to see them progressing. They are still all working on the marriage process and it's just a waiting game that way, BUT. They are getting somewhere!

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Guess How Many?

     Investigators came to church yesterday?!
...
...

16

     SADKJHJASKDHBXCAUE I would've cried myself silly on Palawan if you told me that so many people would be at church. All 16 of those investigators going to church was further proof and evidence to me that this is God's work, not the work of the missionaries. Sister Pamesa and I take NO credit whatsoever for the rewards and fruits of this work. I wish I understood that better at the start of my mission, but like what you said, Daddy, in your email this week - to every thing there is a season. BUT STILL THOUGH! That's 16 people coming closer to Christ. I am so happy for them. God is so good.

     (Out of these 16 were SIX Chinese investigators, five of whom were coming for the first time!) (Talk about Heavenly Father sending people to the right place at the right time!)

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     Okay, my thoughts are kind of running all over the place right now because it is SO hot here and I feel SO uncomfortable and bless Sister Pamesa's heart because although it is our P-Day today she is going to be at home with me for all of it because I am going to be in bed the whole of today.

Heavenly Father is still so good, though.

With love,
Sister Teo

Baptism, Exchanges &... Some Spit

Dear family, 

Caizy

     Guess whose baptism was a success on Saturday? Caizy's! Sister Pamesa and I (& I am sure Sister Lockwood as well) are super proud of her because she has come a looooong way, not just in the discussions with the missionaries but in LIFE! She is a warrior. A beautiful warrior. She was baptized by her fiance, Mark, and they will be married in the coming month(s). It is so great to see people dressed in white, and not for the last time either! Caizy is going to be SUCH a good leader in this church, I know it! 

     And so on that note of her baptism, I just have to say how grateful I am that Heavenly Father has allowed me to see baptisms over these last five months. I'm sure you all remember how down I was about the baptismal drought on Palawan...but I know that those experiences I had on that island were to prepare me for all the wonderful things that I have experienced thus far in these last two areas that I have been in. I am so grateful. Gratitude always wins!

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Exchanges

     Did you guys know that Sister Pamesa was called to be an STL even younger in her mission than I was?! She was only at her halfway mark (or even before that!) when she got called! (I was almost at my tenth month mark.) Anyhow, as an STL we have to go on exchanges with other sister missionaries just to see how they are doing, to help out with any problems etc., to see how the work is going in their area...meaning that Sister Pamesa and I get split up and we go with one of the companion from the pair. This week Sister Pamesa and I went on TWO exchanges back to back, and I know that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but TRUST ME! It was so tiring; I was mentally exhausted by the end of it all! I loved it, don't get me wrong - exchanges are SO great because you get to learn from the sister you are with and it is such an opportunity to be humble and loving, but wow, Sister Pamesa's been doing this for eight months now! I am in awe. The exchanges went great though! 

     I love these sisters under our stewardship and I know that I was a bit nervous at the start because all of these sisters are older than I am in the mission...but thank goodness for the grace of God because all went well and we all had fun.

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"And He Suffereth It"

"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." (1 Nephi 19:9)

     I've never had this happen to me before, EVER, but... for the first time in my life/mission, I got spat on this week. Spat on or spat at? Either way, I was on exchanges with Sister Walker and we had gotten out of a lesson with Jerry. We were walking with Jerry to the place where we usually catch the jeep back home, and as we were walking and talking, this lady who was also just walking down the road from the other direction, walked by me...

and spat in my face. 

Right in my face. She had even made the loud spitting sound that it was loud enough of a spit to make everyone else look and gasp in shock. I was shocked. I was really shocked. But my first reaction was that I laughed. What? Did someone really just spit in my face?

     This event has stuck with me this entire week (it happened Tuesday night). At the start I was really amused because now I can officially say that I am part of the ranks of all the missionaries in the world (biblical, Book of Mormon or even just modern day times) who have been spat on. Literally spat on. By the world. And that just amused me. But later that night as I pondered more on the significance of what had happened, the amusement turned into humiliation a bit. I couldn't believe that someone spat in my face. And that everyone saw. I hadn't done anything wrong to deserve yucky spit. 

     It's been almost a week now and from that event I feel like I have come to appreciate my Savior so much more. Christ went through EVERYTHING. He went through being spat on and teased and mocked and hit. He went through rejection - undeserved rejection. And if the best life this world has ever known has been through all of that, who am I to complain about what little trials God puts me through? 

I am proud to be a missionary.

I am proud of what I am doing.

I am proud of what I have become.

     Spit or no spit, we are doing a great work, and it is a work that will never stop.

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Momma

     ONTO A BRIGHTER TOPIC- Mom! Your birthday is this week! Happy birthday in advance! Your package got here, too! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! 

     I didn't believe you when you said you wanted to see if you or Ether would "win," but you were for real! Haha, don't worry you two, there is no competition! Thank you so much though, Mom! I can't wait for you to open my present, too! It isn't much but I am so glad that it got to you safe. It is a little piece of the Philippines. 
     

You are the best, Mom. Thank you for raising my sisters and I so wonderfully. Thank you for being the best partner in life that Daddy could ever ask for. 

     We're not perfect, none of us are, but I see you trying each and everyday. I love you so much. 

This mission just keeps rolling on!

With love,
Sister Teo